Thursday, 6 May 2010

My very important important political opinions

Often times serious, successful members of society such as myself are asked opinions on crucial matters. Like my hero Simon Cowell (also a friend to my fellow lover of Brown Ale, Cheryll) I'm reluctant to tell people how to vote, but I feel I have bitten my tongue too long now.

Since hearing about the brutalities of a hung parliment (this is a complicated issue, where, if a party cannot hold an overall majority, subsequent MPs are randomly chosen and hung, until one party may form a majority), I feel I have to come out in favour of a particular party to my many disciples. And that party is LABOUR!

My only slight issue with Labour are based on their attitude to women's rights, an issue crucial to my very ideology. I'm tempted to vote Conservative due to the illeberal Labour, Lib Dem hegemony's plans to make it illegal for girls to appear topless on Page 3. ( Emmiline Pankhurst fought for years for these rights and now the government want to take them away. Disgusting!

Gordon Brown's affiliation with Newcastle Brown Ale however swung my decision to finally throw my weighty support behind the 'Reds'. So there you go fine readers, vote now and spare the bloodshed of possibly hundreds of unnecessary deaths..